Weekend at Bernie's (1989) - Completely sidesteps some of the most compelling plot points, such as how they kept Bernie's abdomen from inflating.

Super 8 (2011) - Alternate 1985 ET derails a student film.

Head (1968) - Monkees, a talking cow and mermaids. If you're not on drugs, you will be after watching it.

28 Weeks Later (2007) - Chrome rims on Scarlett Johannson.

Silent Hill (2006) - They got a director who has actually played the game. Result: a film more faithful than a golden retriever who is also a nun.

AVP: Alien vs. Predator (2004) - Much like breast milk and whiskey, some good things should be kept apart.

Paranormal Activity (2007) - About as scary as a Ouija board with a murky aura. More like para-bore-mal.

The Happening (2008) - The most terrifying part of watching this movie was remembering this handsome fellow from a nature show. This plot is, in some sense, minimally probable!

The Pod People (1983) - Alf's long-lost aardvark cousin gets Mary Poppins' powers instead of a thirst for blood.

The Next Three Days (2010) - An unlikely jailbreak plot distracts from some world-class acting by a man on his way past a road sign.